Does your church just make you want to leave? Find another place to worship or just not go? (And by the way, you’re the pastor!) Many years ago I read a very good book called “Toxic Church”. It is out of print now, however there are others out there as I just discovered on Amazon.

Toxic Churches
Toxic Faith
The Toxic Congregation

That’s a lot of “TOXIC”! But the real fact is that all of these books bring out the truth that these toxicities exist, they are hard and many times we want to shout, “My church just SUCKS.” I do not mean to be offensive. But some churches really do suck.

Here’s what I remember of a particularly bad church we ministered in for a year.

There were about 60 people in the congregation and they were without a pastor.
These people were very close because they had experienced a lot together.
These people wanted help.
These people did not accept new people into their group. (Meaning no church growth)
These people did not accept me, the interim pastor’s wife, because I was an outsider and hadn’t gone through what they had.

I did decide to do something about it and started working in the nursery to make myself more assessable and serve. I also started teaching a bible study every Tuesday night. I did whatever I could do to let the people know they didn’t just get my husband as their interim, they also got me and I wanted to help too.

Well after many months of being snubbed, ignored, and left out of their circle, I begged God for a way out so that I could just be myself, worship and serve God somewhere else. Within a few months they chose a young man to become their pastor and we went on to a wonderful church where I, in particular, found lots of healing. Just a side note, my husband has planted churches, he has pastored churches and he has been an interim pastor several times, once for 6 years! (Guess that’s not really interim is it.) My point is that I have been in lots of churches and these churches exist though they may not look like the one I’ve just described.

Some have very rigid rules
Some use intimidation
Some do nothing to enhance your relationship with God
Some are utterly abusive by using guilt or shame

The list goes on and on and my guess is that you know exactly what I’m talking about.

A recent survey asked questions regarding, “Priorities for Church
Pastors/Staff.” It listed ten issues that pastors believe will be
important to them this next year. At the very top of the list was “Growth
and/or Missional Issues”, then “Discipleship Issues,” and third was
“Leadership Development.” If you were to create such a list,
what would be on it? Would these three items appear? I suspect that
they would. And if so, how would you prioritize them?

In thinking about these three, I would move “Leadership Development Issues” to the top of the list. Everything rises or falls with leadership-everything! It takes strong, well developed leadership and planning to accomplish growth and a missional emphasis.

Take a look at our most recent Leadership Link for additional information about transforming leaders/leadership.

http://www.malphursgroup.com/Resources/CurrentEdition.html

Freedom

The word means something to each of us and as we come upon a happy celebration of July 4, we conjure up all kinds of historical reasons to be thankful for what we have and where we live.

I decided to check the dictionary to see what it says about freedom:

1. Personal liberty, as from slavery, bondage, serfdom, etc
2. Liberation or deliverance, as from confinement or bondage
3. The quality or state of being free, especially to enjoy political and civil liberties
4. The state of being without something unpleasant or bad; exemption or immunity: freedom from taxation
5. The right or privilege of unrestricted use or access: the freedom of a city
6. Autonomy, self-government, or independence
7. The power or liberty to order one’s own actions
8. The quality, especially of the will or the individual, of not being totally constrained; able to choose between alternative actions in identical circumstances
9. Ease or frankness of manner; candour: she talked with complete freedom
10. Excessive familiarity of manner; boldness
11. Ease and grace, as of movement; lack of effort

Looking at this list I find I can relate to some but not all of these definitions or descriptions. But the one that is particularly interesting to me is #8. That is truly the kind of freedom I find in Christ. The kind of freedom that allows God to use me, the real me, to make a difference in the lives of those he puts in my path. The uniqueness, quirkiness, definition that He has given each of our personalities is based on the freedom he has to do that and the freedom we have to use those things that are genuinely us!

So as you each enjoy the wonderful upcoming holiday, remember all your freedoms; share them, use them and celebrate them too!

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Gal. 5:1a (The Message)

In my line of work I have the opportunity to speak at a variety of venues. This past weekend I had the privilege of sharing with a group of men at the Fort Worth Adult Rehabilitation Center. As is their practice, prior to the speaker sharing, that day’s leader asks for prayer requests and at times there is someone that has something to say to the group. This can be a verse that has impacted them, a book or something they have written. This past Sunday we had the privilege of hearing a poem from one of the beneficiaries at the center. His words were powerful – in just a few minutes he spoke authentically and from his heart God’s healing in his 40 plus year old life. Change or transformation is a journey. He shared the way God has been working in his life to make him the man God wants him to be.
What struck me directly was that God uses all of us to share his glory with mankind. I thanked him for sharing his humanity, his life and God’s grace so profoundly. The words have moved my soul to again surrender to the one and only true God – Jesus Christ.

Heal This Lame

My pain, my fears, my wants, my needs

My life, my death, my thirst, my greed

My highs, my lows, my ability to understand what I took and what I gave, who I was and now who I am

My good, my bad, my gratitude when I’m on, what I lost and what I gave and my attitude when it’s gone 

How I love and how I hate, to forgive when I’m wronged, when I’m weak how I want to be forgiven when I’m strong

My laughs, my cries, my hellos, and goodbyes

My mother, my sons, and their tears when I lied

The days, the nights, the streets, the fights, and my conversation with my God whenever my spirit ain’t right

My guilt, my innocence, my life in the jail, my prayers and my deliverance from my own personal hell

My family, my friends, from the beginning to the end, and how my God still loves me even though I’m living in sin

My women, my thoughts, my reaction when I get caught, and how my intentions were just intentions until they showed up in my walk

The hood, the gangs, the police, the same. No justice, no peace, so the hood is insane

My old man, Ole’ Jes many locks but no keys. Reputations but no reparations, for the blood that we bleed

My “homies”, their graves, murdered young life gave. In my transformation is the dedication to the path that they paved

My transition to change, the remorse, the shame, and how I go to what I know, whenever I’m out of my range

Lord I want to thank you for healing this lame. For protection from myself, when my thinking was clinically insane.

And I want to thank you for the pain, because I grew from it like the flowers grow from the rain

And I want to thank you for giving me the strength to whisper your name in the middle of the battlefield when the battle was still using cocaine

And I want to thank you for keeping it plain, ‘cause I know now that our wills are not the same, because yours is to keep me, and mine hates to be contained. And I want to thank you for showing me favor, when my behavior was off the chain

And I know many people that say they ain’t supposed to be here, but I see clear why I remain, it’s your Glory! And Lord I know you gave me my story, so people can know the power in your Name!

How you took this thug, misfit, drug addicted, maladapted son, delinquent father, spiritually bankrupt bum, and made him whole

And Lord I know I still have work to do, but today I surrender my soul!

I want to throw down a challenge:

My challenge is for you to develop a personal leadership development plan. A good plan has at least three elements.

• It addresses your divine design or who you are (your gifts, passion,
talents, etc.)

• It addresses your ministry direction. What do people designed like you do in ministry?

• It addresses your ministry development based on who you are and how God has wired you.

As you work on your plan, keep in mind these areas to consider as well.

Godly character
Knowledge of one’s ministry area
Skills for the that ministry
Healthy emotions
Care of your physical health

I look forward to being at Exponential in Orlando, FL. this week. I
will be doing a book signing for my newest book on church planting
entitled The Nuts and Bolts of Church Planting. Should you be
attending, drop by the Baker Books table and connect with me.

Why will I be at Exponential? I’m not attending just to sign a book
but to support and promote church planting. At a time when the church
in North America is struggling, the future for the church is twofold.
One is church renewal. That’s what the Malphurs Group does with lots
of churches. We lead them through the strategic envisioning or
re-envisioning process. The second is church planting. What’s the
difference? One writer says it’s the difference between having babies
and trying to raise the dead. Actually, we must be about both if the
church is to have impact on our world.

Aubrey

Numerous times I’ve observed and lamented the fact that few churches across North America have in place an intentional leadership development process. The latest research affirms the same.

James Gribnitz, in his research for a doctoral project at Dallas Seminary gives us four reasons why:

Churches don’t know how to develop leader

Churches don’t hire leaders based on their ability to develop leaders

Churches don’t hold leaders accountable for developing leaders

For many pastors, leader development is an aspirational not actual value. It is quite possible that training leaders can reverse the American church’s decline.

This morning I had an opportunity to read part of a blog from a pastor encouraging his congregation to tithe. He was biblical about his approach and the fact that we live by grace and the tithe or 10% is just a starting point. However, as with many sermons about giving, I found myself thinking again about this idea of a “tithe”, God’s love for a cheerful giver and cheerful giving.

God is a cheerful giver and that’s our model. He gives us everything we need and often much more. He has even given us a way through his son, to be redeemed from our brokenness. I would love to hear a message on giving with that example rather than the idea of a tithe that really was a rule for those Old Testament believers. Many say it’s a place to start and I think that’s true, but so many times the 10% value stays in front of the idea that really whatever we give to God, whether to the church or individuals and organizations, is part of giving. And, what about giving yourself sacrificially to others and God? It’s a much bigger picture in my mind. Cleary, the widow’s mite was all she could give and God saw fit to tell us about that for a reason. It wasn’t about the amount, it was about the sacrifice of giving, period.

This week we happily welcomed a new person to our family, a lovely, tiny girl for each of us to love and cherish. An amazing transition is taking place in the home of her parents. They are adjusting to the new ‘life” they have and experiencing the process of replacing their old “life”. Lots and lots of changes are so hard, but the routine of doing things a different way will eventually happen and that will be their “life”.

On a sadder note, I have a dear friend who is very ill. Her family is and will face so many things in the months ahead. Their change will be their loss. The “life” they once had will change as well. They will adjust with time, but things will never be the same for them either.

As we grow older we recognize that change comes whether we like it or not. Look at all the changes that have come in the past 10 years. Too many to count from the affect of terrible injustices, famine, war, weather, media, and the leaps we’ve made in communication with the iPhone, iPad (thank you Apple), Facebook and other social networking venues. It’s no longer “six degrees of separation.”

We often bump up against things that make no sense, seem wrong (and they may be) or just take too much time to figure out. It’s a value judgment. What do we value? Do we value and embrace the fact that although God does not change, everything else does! Do we believe God has allowed these changes in our lives and the world around us? Some people thrive on change. They do not fear it; they make it work for them. It helps them understand what God is doing in this world that seems so out of control. It gives them an opportunity to give something to others that is new, insightful, productive and maybe even healing.

Serving God in your business, in your home, in your neighborhood means that we must adapt, listen and change. He uses all things for his purpose.

It’s not hard to find leadership insights. You see them everywhere, if you’re looking. One place I see them, interestingly enough, is from the saddle of my bike. Okay, full disclosure: I haven’t actually seen 324 insights, but it sure seems like it.

The other day I saw another one.

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