Does your church just make you want to leave? Find another place to worship or just not go? (And by the way, you’re the pastor!) Many years ago I read a very good book called “Toxic Church”. It is out of print now, however there are others out there as I just discovered on Amazon.

Toxic Churches
Toxic Faith
The Toxic Congregation

That’s a lot of “TOXIC”! But the real fact is that all of these books bring out the truth that these toxicities exist, they are hard and many times we want to shout, “My church just SUCKS.” I do not mean to be offensive. But some churches really do suck.

Here’s what I remember of a particularly bad church we ministered in for a year.

There were about 60 people in the congregation and they were without a pastor.
These people were very close because they had experienced a lot together.
These people wanted help.
These people did not accept new people into their group. (Meaning no church growth)
These people did not accept me, the interim pastor’s wife, because I was an outsider and hadn’t gone through what they had.

I did decide to do something about it and started working in the nursery to make myself more assessable and serve. I also started teaching a bible study every Tuesday night. I did whatever I could do to let the people know they didn’t just get my husband as their interim, they also got me and I wanted to help too.

Well after many months of being snubbed, ignored, and left out of their circle, I begged God for a way out so that I could just be myself, worship and serve God somewhere else. Within a few months they chose a young man to become their pastor and we went on to a wonderful church where I, in particular, found lots of healing. Just a side note, my husband has planted churches, he has pastored churches and he has been an interim pastor several times, once for 6 years! (Guess that’s not really interim is it.) My point is that I have been in lots of churches and these churches exist though they may not look like the one I’ve just described.

Some have very rigid rules
Some use intimidation
Some do nothing to enhance your relationship with God
Some are utterly abusive by using guilt or shame

The list goes on and on and my guess is that you know exactly what I’m talking about.